The Structure Is Now
4 channel HD video installation, color, stereo sound
Paper, wood, leather, mirror, sand, targets
“There is a square; there is an oblong. The players take the square and place it upon the oblong. They place it very accurately; they make a perfect dwelling-place. Very little is left outside. The structure is now visible; what is inchoate is here stated; we are not so various or so mean; we have made oblongs and stood them upon squares. This is our triumph; this is our consolation.” –Virginia Woolf, The Waves. There is a curve. We have not taken the fastest route. Light moves between edges and edges may feel moved. The libidinal economy of a wave. How hard those French guys must have sweated our other. Eau d’autre. Oh, don’t try. To write our split torn shatter cut secret. I know what boys like. My friend had some of Kathy Acker’s clothes and let me put on this Vivienne Westwood flouncy pirate top. I thought I would feel like her. I felt like Fabio. Like if Fabio wore shirts. Maybe that’s what she felt like, too, and what he felt like, too. I don’t know know I know. My mother kept an eggshell. “Because it broke in the shape of a W.” Why W? “You Know.” “Like a Woman.” “Like a Winner.” I couldn’t make them touch all at once. I could two at a time. Be a Woman and Know but not be a Winner. Be a Winner and Know but not be a Woman. Be a Woman and a Winner but not Know. Impossible shape is a triangle that never really stops. Turn it over. There isn’t a side to rest on. I started with two languages then lost one and learned another. I see them as objects moving nearer or farther from me. Hangul letters are arranged around each other to create syllables in space. Break binds rhythm and not meaning, down or across make a word. No words are given after they are lost. Steal what you can’t earn. A female dog no better than to give a ball back. No, and. L’ecriture Feminine. Creature. Feminine creature. A body is written. That this is lies about women. New wave, third wave, now wave, nouvelle vague. Vague is the wave. New Vague is specific, we just may not know. Other water. I wanted to fold the wave’s break over so it would break forever and I wanted to know what the light would do with the rupture of it and within it. Broken water. I turned the light on the hole. Nothing really changes. I mean, really. I placed an object in the field of video. The field is vulnerable. Its not about Things, its About things. In Working Girl, Tess says to Mick, “I am not steak. You can’t just order me.” I still wear shoulder pads every time I’m having a Big Day. Woman is out of order. A wrinkle in time is out of order. Between near and far makes a shape. Between something and nothing. What you know and forgot. What you have and don’t. I gave you my life. You gave me my knife. With repetition it became fast it made flat it made a new surface. It’s hard to tell where the target stops and the person begins. We might never be able to pull them apart. She slips through her cracks. Except her hands are still there. Remember can make a body. “She’s deader than a doornail.” “She’s deader than Obi Wan Kenobi after Darth Vader cut his head off. “ “That’s how you know she’s dead ‘cause someone pissed on her.” “She’s deader than Andy Reid’s son.” “She’s deader than Chris Henry.” “She’s deader than O.J.’s wife.” “She’s deader than Caylee Anthony.” “There’s never been someone this dead.” “She’s deader than Harvey Dent after Batman tackled him off that building.” “They’re trying to help a dead girl.” “That’s like trying to help wood turn into stone.” “That’s like trying to help Tim Tebow be a good quarter back.” “That’s like trying to make Natty Light a refreshing beer.” “They raped her harder than that cop raped Marsellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction.” “They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson raped that one girl.” “They raped her more than the Duke La Crosse.” “She’s deader than they thought Gandolf was.” “She’s fucking deader than JFK.” “She is deader than Trayvon Martin.” “Her puss is about as dry as the sun right now.” “It’s so dry that if you try to take a sip from it, you’ll die.” “You thought it was bad when that girl got raped at ‘palooza, this is worse, it’s a dead body.” “If that was my daughter, I wouldn’t care, I’d just let her be dead.” “My daughter’s gonna be getting raped and dead in 10 years.” “She is deader than Joe Pesci in Good Fellas.” “She might have wanted it; that might have been her final wish.” “What if she got pregnant and gave birth to a dead baby?” – Leaked video of Steubenville High School graduate. I looked around to see where I stood and found that I had no body to stand on. That’s where I’m calling from. Where we don’t know. I’m calling it a ghost story. All women. All ready. Already. Dead. Okay okay O.K.O.K.O.K.O. Knock out. Transpose suspect and hostage. “A film is a girl and a gun.” -Jean Luc Godard. A body is shaped by the nearness of objects. “Women own less than 1% of the property in the world.” –United Nations, 2011. What I want you can’t have. "Genius is what a man invents when he is looking for a way out." - Jean Paul Sartre. Destroy genius as a way in. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Blow the house down. “I am Essie Mae Washington Williams and at last I feel completely free.” I found a coupon on the street for a free thong at Victoria’s Secret. The thong was invented by the state so a woman’s body could be seen. Ana Mendieta, Nancy Spungen, Joan Vollmer. Trace a circle in the sky. Soleil Moon Frye got a breast reduction at 16 and told Us Weekly, “Now I can be free.” Chris Marker made his film essay, Sans Soleil, about moment and loss. Marker died on his birthday last year. Venus eclipsed the sun last year. Astrologers predicted an end to the Cartesian Paradigm as the one female planet was lit for the one time in one hundred years. Sun in Gemini. Sun in two. In cinema all light is shattered. Desire moves the dark between frames. There is an object in the field of light. The light lands here and here and here not all at once and with the thing. Coming undone or coming together a new shape arrives. There is a dimensional and temporal trauma. What do we want? When do we want it? To Know like a Woman like a Winner is the split torn shatter cut secret. Hi, are you home? I’m coming over.